verses

Isaiah 49:15

15 "Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you!

Isaiah 46:3-4
3 "Listen to me, O house of Jacob, all you who remain of the house of Israel, you whom I have upheld since you were conceived, and have carried since your birth.
4 Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.

Isaiah 43:1-2

1 But now, this is what the LORD says—he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
2 When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.

refining

When I was at work today, during one of the slower time, I went through that silversmith e-mail Sarah sent a while back again. I was really touched, especially by the last line.

I thank God for the pain and hardship I am going through now. Even though I understand nothing and am blind and can't see, God knows what He is doing.

I have been wondering every single day what is the meaning of my existence. I have been in such a pain because I can't find a thing that I can do well. I have been crying because every time I come before God I have nothing to offer. I have been in distress because I see nothing in me but a broken life. I ask myself frequently that how is it possible that God can use someone like me--someone constantly being rejected by the world around...

refining

adoption

Toward the end of Max Lucado's book God Came Near, he talked about a story at a funeral. The lady named Carmino who stood alone and mourned quietly turned out to be the adoptive child of the family. She was born of a prostitute, father unknown. The mom had compassion when saw the little girl, knowing that she would otherwise have no one to love her, pay attention to her, no home, no future. The girl was adopted to the family. Decades later, at the mother's funeral... When the funeral ended, everybodyt left, the doors were about to be locked, a soft, broken voice was heard. It was Carmino, by the casket, crying and kept saying thank you to the mother.

Lucado kept going on and says something like, we too were adopted by God into His family. We would have no future, no hope if it wasn't so... When nobody would give us the time of a day, God gives us the time of a whole life.

I cried.

Ephesians 1:3-8
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will—to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding.

pic

seasons

it's been busy that i haven't even thought of things that i'm thankful for these days. but that should not be an excuse to live in ignorance. well, yesterday i met up with a married person had a talk. it brought up an interesting perspective after talking to her about her lifestage.
as i'm in my singlehood, i always thought many of my problems will be solved when i get married. but after hearing what she's been going through as she's transitioning into a married person, it sounds like it's so much harder than being single. although you have the significant other to love and be loved, there seem to be far more challenges when you are joined with another person. i realized that every season is difficult and challenging. even when i look back, i remember the biggest worry in high school was getting into college. in college, the biggest worry was graduating and finding a job. in young adult life, the biggest worry is money and marriage. so i know that each season in life brings new challenges and worries. however, i am thankful that God has been with me through every season. that's how i am where i am today and even though i don't know what the future holds in the next season of my life, i feel secure that God will somehow pull me through once again.

for who he is...

I just want to say...
I praise God for He is, like the sun would not cease to be the sun when the storm comes, or the darkness of the night covers the earth. He's worthy of all praises no matter what.

people who love people

today, i had a welcoming team meeting. this was the first team meeting i led since i joined this team. i "bribed" them by cooking for dinner but it was such a good meeting. i think i struggled a bit this past year with the previous team - which i learned a lot, but seeing these members who were so willing to participate and serve, i was so blessed. they were so proactive and initiating different ideas and taking responsibilities. it makes ministry so much more enjoyable when people are on board and you know they do that b/c they love God's people. anyway, i'm just so thankful for them for their hearts and time to serve the Lord.

oh also, Isaac Kim (Andy's brother) just shared tonight that his mom accecpted Christ last night!
this is truly an answer to our prayers since Andy passed away. i'm sure Andy is rejoicing with Christ in heaven!

swans

I went take a walk, and I saw a swan family--daddy swan, mommy swan, and the baby. It made me think of the ugly duckling story... for the longest time I just couldn't move away from the spot where I saw them.

mommy & daddy...

my roommate has been really down these days b/c of financial and job issue; she can't go back to school, and her parents are not able to help her at all. Seeing her like that, I realize how blessed I am that even if my parents do not have much, yet in their debts they still send me everything. When I was talking to my mom the other day, she told me my dad was asking if I still have enough money and if he needs to send me some. I was surprised, because they just sent me money in Dec to help paying for my student loan, and it's not like I am starving something...
I just want to thank God for my parents, for being so supported even if my dad doesn't seem to say much...

and yes, I have a job.

by the way, I just find out that the lib is actually hiring three of the same positions at once instead of just one. Anyways, even if it's like last time, which 86 people applied for one opening, it's still a better chance--I don't think there were 86x3 people applied. :)

i luv my single life!

i know this might sound kinda funny. but yesterday, i had some free time in the early evening.
so i went to gallup park to spend some time with God. i went to the place where we talked before by the water and did my QT. then i walked around the park just praying in my heart and singing worship songs. afterwards, i had an urge to go to a farmer's market, so i went to the produce store on State street next to the train tracks. i bought some delicious fruit and as i was walking out, i decided to take a walk by the gardening section they had. as i was walking on that path with all the flowers around, it just felt so good with the nice breeze and such a peaceful scenery. i haven't had such a free time to just enjoy things around me and spend time alone in this way that i just suddenly realized, how precious is this time in my life. while i'm single and don't have any strings attached to anyone, i really want to enjoy this time alone with God. i know that those moments won't come often and the more i get older, things will be busier.
so i want to enjoy this singlehood as much as possible and strengthen my relationship with God this summer. you have to try this plum called, "Mango Plum." it's yellow and it's so delicious!

smile :)

It's just like another ordinary day. I studied and the went to work at Kumon. Recently I have been feeling that I don't want to work there any more. Not that I don't like it, but it's such a transitional place and I have been there for too long. At the same time, I notice that my boss has entrusted me with more, especially after her daughter got married and left; plus I am the only one who hasn't got yelled at for a long while... Anyway, there are just a lot of mixed emotions going to work there.

Today, there is this kid name Trevor; he kinda just started do 3-digits vertical subtraction with borrowing. He hardly can do any problem correctly without help. However, he just had this big smile on his face, even when he was told that there are lots mistakes in his works. Caitlin is another girl who always smiles at me whenever I go check on how she's doing with classwork. Britney is doing calculus but understands nothing; Nick and Christine are brother and sister, both doing algebra and struggle much. I can totally see how those kids were frustrated with math, yet their smiles made everything seems to be so much easier (and made it easier to teach them). I remember what I said at the interview earlier, "a big smile brighten people's day..."

I just want to thank God for giving us the ability to smile, and joy in our heart no matter what's going on. It shorten the distance between people, it brings blessings to a trouble heart.

simplicity

today at excel, we had extra activities in the afternoon.
i was in charge of making rice krispie treats with the kids and you should've seen their faces.
one of my kids, Justin - he's a jolly, was so happy walking around with a big ball of rice krispie treat in his hand. it's this kind of simple treat that makes these children so happy. i realized that i forget to enjoy and be happy about simple things in my life b/c i'm so concerned about big things that i have no control over. today....i thank God for simple things in my life like having a family to call (i called my mom), having people to welcome me when i come home, having food in the fridge everyday and all the small treats that God blesses us each day.
thank you Jesus!

as for today...

Joyce was asking me what is the most difficult thing for me in being a Christian, and it reminded me of a song we always sang in the church in Taiwan. It goes something like this (it's probably translated from English, but here's my own translation):
God has never promised that the sky to be blue and clear, neither of a pleasant path along the life journey. God has never promised that the sun always be shining without rain falling, neither has He promised a life of happiness without pain, peace without worries. Yet He promises He will strengthen us daily, shine on us as we walk, and rest after laboring. He promise of grace in mist of temptation, a place to put our trust on Him in difficulties, and an undying love.
I know I would have no way to make it this far on my own, God indeed has been gracious on me. What can I say? even if I still feel like understanding nothing...

day1

you are truly a computer sappy person. but this is a brilliant idea.
i never kept a blog for just 2 people...but it' cool.
alright, it's your turn first!